The Most Important Vote is for Love

What's it like for you to have little or no control about someone else's life when their life is seriously at risk?  One mom is so worried and in fear that her daughter seems to be repeating the same things that keep both of them struggling and suffering in her chaotic substance use.  I can sure relate to that.  My son is refusing to cooperate with required treatment and refusing to make a discharge plan. He seems paralyzed.  I fear he'll return to everything that could kill him. But I can't control or fix it.  What now?  

I believe there's much we can do despite the default, fear based thinking there's nothing we can do.  Not true.  I've needed repeated reminders of that when things get pretty dicey. Fear can take over instantly. Though it may be true that I don't get a vote about my son's life trajectory, I can consider what works and what doesn't, and take care of my fear. Ok, we're human, fear is a frequent visitor when loving a child through their addiction. But it really increases mine and my son's stress to be in his business.  What is his business?  Anything he thinks, says, feels, and does.  I just don't get a vote on it, unless he gives it to me, and even then it can and does change. Not the most stable or peaceful place to be. 

So, now what?  I may not get a vote on "his business" and I have another really powerful vote. To return to "my business".  What's that?  What I think, believe, say, and do.  What is "your business"?  What you think, believe, say, and do. 

Why is this vote so important?  Because it's our place of influence and impact, a place where we can create conditions to create connection, better communication, to learn skills and practice them.  This is a vote for Love.  Here's a quick guide to explore more on your business: 

How to Find Peace When You Worry - a guide with 3 powerful ways to be OK when things aren't OK. 

We have a very powerful and most important vote, always, so let's re-mind ourselves to use it -  A Vote for Love.  A vote for love over fear, for peace over worry, for clarity over chaos, for compassion, for healing, responses vs reactions, a vote to learn some new skills to love a child through their addiction.  I highly recommend The Invitation to Change and you can find more info here: The Invitation to Change

This vote for Love is the highest and greatest office we can hold on earth.  How can we live this vote for Love? Try this on.  Breathe into your heart, into the present, notice the fear and don't believe the default thinking it's all true.  You're not the fear or the thoughts because you're the one observing them. Whose business are you in?  Notice and come into your own. What is your business?  That is one of the most important votes you have - your business.  What you think, believe, say, feel, do.  Fear can and does derail us, and our vote to return to Love will exercise Love's greater power. 

The results are in.  Love gives us the power and energy that is always connected to the Source of Love that lives is in us and lives through us as we learn and keep trying.  Love:  our most important vote.  Let's change the world with it.

Love wins here! 

Peace,

Joanne

 PS:  Here's some more inspiration on Love.  Please reach out with any thoughts or questions and let's stay connected and empowered. 

How to Find Peace When You Worry - a guide with 3 powerful ways to be OK when things aren't OK. 

Letter from A Child - a message from a child struggling with substance use to a parent about love.

Love Shows Up Here - a little exercise for Love to guide you so that you can show up at your best